How To...
Bullshit your way through a job interview
1) Dress to impress. This means your dressing in your best stripper outfit. However, in the situation where the job you're trying out for is stripping, turn up at the interview in your best birthday suit.
2) Needless to say, resumes are a must. Fabricated resumes are even better. Include things such as "First to climb Mt Everest in 1953" and "Invented Superglue during WWII".
3) First impressions are vital. Try to arrive at the interview accompanied by a horde of Harley-Davidsons. Better still, arrive riding a unicycle while juggling a monkey.
4) Research your job. You have to make sure you know more about the company than they do. If you uncover any dirt in the process, be sure to blackmail the boss. You're definitely guaranteed a spot now.
5) Body language matters. Two words: Eye contact. Nobody wants to hire a person who shies away from their glace. Make sure you stare at your interviewer 24/7.
6) Be prepared for questions. Preferably, prepare a speech about yourself beforehand. Before they ask you any questions, bombard them with your strengths once you're in the room, and walk out before they ask you about your weaknesses. This is an excellent technique to make sure that you only leave your best impressions behind.
7) Always follow up. All employers love a keen employee. Call your future employer every moment you have. This way, they will realise your passion and enthusiasm for the job.
8) Last but not least, brush your teeth before the interview. Is it really that much of a predicament?
Bullshit your way through a job interview
1) Dress to impress. This means your dressing in your best stripper outfit. However, in the situation where the job you're trying out for is stripping, turn up at the interview in your best birthday suit.
2) Needless to say, resumes are a must. Fabricated resumes are even better. Include things such as "First to climb Mt Everest in 1953" and "Invented Superglue during WWII".
3) First impressions are vital. Try to arrive at the interview accompanied by a horde of Harley-Davidsons. Better still, arrive riding a unicycle while juggling a monkey.
4) Research your job. You have to make sure you know more about the company than they do. If you uncover any dirt in the process, be sure to blackmail the boss. You're definitely guaranteed a spot now.
5) Body language matters. Two words: Eye contact. Nobody wants to hire a person who shies away from their glace. Make sure you stare at your interviewer 24/7.
6) Be prepared for questions. Preferably, prepare a speech about yourself beforehand. Before they ask you any questions, bombard them with your strengths once you're in the room, and walk out before they ask you about your weaknesses. This is an excellent technique to make sure that you only leave your best impressions behind.
7) Always follow up. All employers love a keen employee. Call your future employer every moment you have. This way, they will realise your passion and enthusiasm for the job.
8) Last but not least, brush your teeth before the interview. Is it really that much of a predicament?
Posted by Ky...the streetwise one =]
posted by Ky at
9:52 PM
2 Comments:
Yeah hey Kahyi...does the stripper one apply if your male? And juggling a monkey is easy...juggling 2 monkeys, well that's another story now isn't it.
Derek, yeah it applies if you're a male. Males have stripper outfits too.......yeah juggling two monkeys is hard, but I can juggle three monkeys =D......with one hand.
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