How to...
Predict what will happen in this new year .

(In contrast to the Tran post below me, this will be extremely lengthy)

So, it's 2008 , and Ky has a few predictions for the upcoming year .

1) It will be the most recent year we’ve faced so far.

2) It will be a leap year. I can almost guarantee it. If it doesn't happen, you can sue me.

3) New Year's resolutions will not be kept. I'm sorry guys, your hopes of gaining a last-minute brain for the HSC will be dashed. Those who do not make New Year’s resolutions however, won’t be disappointed, as no goals were set in the first place.

4) Kevin Rudd will inevitably announce what the Asian population in Australia has known for a long time. He not only has the appearance of a short Chinese man, speaks perfect Chinese, but is, undeniably, a Chinese.
Rudd, and the Asian-Australians were merely chuckling to themselves on election night, surprised at the rest of the population for allowing themselves to fall into the American-style campaign that is Kevin07. Now with the aid of the newly appointed PM Rudd, China will conquer the world very soon, beginning their conquest by purchasing the Australian public sector.

5) Australia will be renamed “China #2”. Chloe will be happy as her “oriental ways” will be dubbed the norm.

6) While for the past two years, adopting/giving birth to children has been a most popular activity (especially among celebrities) , in the next two years, things would turn the other way round. Infanticide will be embraced both as a sport, as well as a pastime.

7) The world celebrates as George Bush ceases his part-time job of being a only-good-for-killing-off-alleged-middle-eastern-terrorists president, but will continue his full time job of being the comic relief that this under-entertained world so desperately needs.

8) Stringing together words with hyphens (as I just did above), to express meanings that will otherwise be poorly conveyed, will become very fashionable.

On a more personal level, Ky predicts that:

*Marie’s lesbian shenanigans will not conclude, as she hopes, but will evolve into a whole new level.

*Chloe will become less orange, and more red, due to her newly found penchant for raw tomatoes.

* Carmen will still be losing her hair. However, she will give up on transplanting her dog’s hair, and just buy herself a wig.

*Melinda will be still be doing what she has done for the past 5 years, digging for gold in her backyard, and everywhere else. (Yes, even in a part of her face, below the eyes and above the mouth)

* Tran will admit that she is slowly turning into a lesbian, only to herself. As usual, she will be lost and confused.

* Thao will believe that she has found true love in Yee, and will do whatever it takes to attempt to rape her, only to realise that it is not true love, but sexual frustration.

* Yee, still homeless, but will be satisfied with her life, due to the powers of deep-meditation.

* Sandra will become a hobo, and share a non-home with Yee, due to her gambling debts accumulated through sleepless nights of playing “big-two” with her brother.

And for the regular taggers of this blog:

*The prediction that Joanne made about becoming good friends with Ky will come true (I hope). Ky forgives the fact that she did not get the best joke of the year:
-What's the best thing about shagging a 5 year old?
-Hearing the pelvis crack

*Ron will realise that he is in actuality, more FOB than he is cut out for. He will dye his hair blonde and get blue contacts in order to steer away from his heritage.

Special Mention to:
* Winnie, my gangdurr idol. She will become more leb in her actions and will develop a permanently deep "leb voice" : "Wuuuhhhh .. Wot you lookin' at muthafucka?"

*Kev will continue to be darker than me. (YaY) He will be subjected to forever taping "Heroes" for me, but doesn't know that I haven't been watching them.


On an endnote, Ky will not state the overly used phrase "Happy New Year" but wishes all of you a “New Year” because hopefully, we’re not repeating 2007 again.

Posted by Ky, “fuckyouuuu 2008”



P.S. Since I mentioned a lot of people in this post, it's unfair if YOU, the reader, is not being eternalised in our blog for 2008. If you feel that way, please feel free to complain in the tagboards. I will be sure to edit my post.