ODE TO FAG.

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY RONALD PAI.

ACHE IN THE HEAD.

Hello non existent readers >=)

I like Bec for blogging even though she did it for ky and not for me. *spanks*

Anywho. Marie finished school early today, commuted with Eva and Tracey to Hurstville for English tutor at THE BRAIN. T'was our first lesson and Eva and I quite enjoyed it.

A nice contrast from. ass.of.ahole who must never be mentioned again.

After english tutor i commuted my way to burwood. found lesbian friends namely Chloe, Bec, Kimjaejoong and Kitty afterwards and some gays along the way. also bumped into aaron.

Had lunch. routinely. KFC and easyway.

Then jap tutor <3

The storm was scary. station blacked out. leaving me waiting for an unknown train at an unknown time.

Got home and did some hardcore reading.
YES RON.
I FINALLY FINISHED READING MY BOOK.
TOLD YOU I COULD READ IT IN A DAY!

Marie currently dizzy from the hotness of her home. Her sister has SARS. so she wont allow aircon to be opened. and marie got told off for opening it even though she didn't.

NOT HAPPY.


*faints*

*sweats*

*fails*


[Marie.yayayayayaya.Zuo]

Backtrack to BREAK TIME!

GOOD MORNING to all nocturnals out there!

I was typing up business notes but decided to take a break and blog (since I promised KY I will very very very very very very very very very very very very etc. long ago)

Anyhow, backtrack to LAST WEEK'S TUESDAY

I went to Bankstown library by myself with the aim of finishing my tutor homework due later that night. I was half concentrating, half bored, half texting people until two turtles (Sandra and Victor) silently creeped up behind me and almost scared the shit out of me. I then moved to sit with them and continued with work, Jendo came and joined us...I continued to do more work and then NATURE CALLS so I decided to take a toilet break.

(I think I told a few the series of events which happened next but for those who don't know... read on )

I went down to the toilets in the library and for those who haven't been to Bankstown the toilets are DISGUSTING. Well I guess they're typical public toilets with blue light and stink like SHIT.

But since I needed to chuck a piss, I decided to use the toilet anyway. When I was about done, I heard two people talking while entering the toilet. I didn't think much of it until I realised it was between a guy and a girl. Even then it didn't occur to me right away but I felt that something was amiss.

So I was standing in my cubicle and thought

"I'm in a ladies toilet and I can hear a man's voice....that's weird"

which then evolved to...

"I'm in a ladies toilet so WTF IS A GUY DOING IN HERE?!?!"

I stood in the cubicle (not wanting to go out and actually see a friggen MALE in the toilet) and was still a little stunned at the situation while the guy and the girl enter the cubicle next to me.





and then...





THEY STARTED MAKING OUT AND I COULD HEAR EVERYTHING *cries* (it was chat)

Why would you want to make out in a cubicle which stinks like shit with blue lights anyways ... just cause they're desperate =(

After that, I basically ran out of the toilet and got my stuff and left the library x)



Posted by Bec who almost puked

How to ...
Post some random questions that may never be answered ...

1) Why does no one else blog except for Marie and me ?

2) Why does it seem like the amount of people visiting / tagging this blog is gradually decreasing?

3) Why is ronnknee.com exponentially more popular than im-a-bull?

Posted by Ky, the confused one .

P.S. Why is Joanne still as awesome as ever ? =)
You don't really have to answer this one. She just is .

How to...
Spend your time productively if you're mindlessly bored.

1) Take an excessive amount of vitamins. Multivitamin or vitamin B are especially recommended.

2) Drink an excessive amount of water.

3) Refrain from going to the toilet until it's dark outside.

4) As a human being with a responsibility for your body, perform the compulsory bodily function. Preferably in the toilet bowl.

5) Switch off the lights.

6) Observe swirling fluorescent water in toilet bowl. It has a similar effect to taking LSD.

Posted by Ky, the obscenely crude one.

How to
Reign successful in the upcoming HSC

I have decided to blog, during one of my much-too-frequent bouts of procrastination due to the constant nagging from Marie. So what have I done to contribute to the overrated and unachievable but undeniably juicy 100UAI so far? Basically ... nothing.
However, seeing that I am such a superlatively generous person, I am going to share some tips on how to overcome the stress that can inflict much damage to our mental psyche and in some cases, physical appearances.

Ky's top tips include:
1) Get a haircut.
Not just any old trim, but a drastic 20cm cut. I could honestly go on for hours about the neverending benefits of this simple action but the main ones are probably a) No hair = no going out, b) No hair = less time in the shower and lastly c) No hair = lighter head = improved thinking.
If my wonderful equations above are anything to go by, then it would seem that the art of logical thinking has started to take its toll.

2) Delete MSN.
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. But if you do feel the need to communicate with something other than your math book or your mirror, indulge in only intelligent conversations. So really this means no more talking to Marie, Ron, Joanne, Brother Kev ... and whoever reads this blog.

3) Sleep early.
Lack of sleep will cause eye bags the size of yo momma's ass.

4) Do not follow Ky's footsteps
Unless you want to have a future as a garbo. This road will lead to failure and obliviousness, and weekends spent trying to get over a fever. Oh and on a totally separate note, taking too much vitamins will turn your urine fluorescent yellow - A topic that shall be covered in the next post.

Posted by Ky, who is on her deathbed.

Life is not a dream It's time for stress.STRESS. STRESS.Sorry for being stress. and pms. and bitchy. =(I CAN'T HELP IT.I still like you turtlewong. and becislost.I REALLY LIKE YOU BOOBIE-TRAP. Thankyou <3Why you guys sleep for. Anway i'm glad things have all flown away.Exams in two weeks. May you all study hard.Marie will NOT STRESS.I REPEAT: MARIE WILL NOT STRESS ![Marie.Ya.Zuo]P.S I DONT LIKE YOU GUYS FOR NOT BLOGGING.

It's time for stress.

STRESS. STRESS.

Sorry for being stress. and pms. and bitchy. =(

I CAN'T HELP IT.

I still like you turtlewong. and becislost.

I REALLY LIKE YOU BOOBIE-TRAP. Thankyou <3

Why you guys sleep for. Anway i'm glad things have all flown away.

Exams in two weeks. May you all study hard.

Marie will NOT STRESS.

I REPEAT: MARIE WILL NOT STRESS !

[Marie.Ya.Zuo]

P.S I DONT LIKE YOU GUYS FOR NOT BLOGGING.

WEEKEND <3.

our blog is dying =(

i dont like school. i dont like KY. cause she's mean.

marie woke up at 6am this morning. she got dogged by a turtle, bitch and a gay dog.
DOGDOGDOGDOG x)

marie just got home. her parents ditched her and her sister wont come home.
hence no one cares if marie goes home at all xD

had prior after school. raced home to get changed and went out to dinner with xtine, dez, tom and co. for BIRTHDAY.

HAPPY EARLY 19TH BIRTHDAY BAKADEZ !

marie liked the cake o_o; after dinner at YUKATA we went to greenbox plus for k. played things and sang songs. so much for no more k O_O; *tomorrow* diu.

THANKYOU to kyle for walking marie two steps home

THANKYOU dez for having a birthday

THANKYOU tom for stealing marie's money

Marie hopes Xtine will ace HSC !

[Marie.Ya.Zuo]

HAPPY TURTLE DAY.

The amiable - thoughts crew wish

a certain uberTURTLE and a certain LENG LUI. a

VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! !

I just got home from jap tutor.

Finished school before lunch today and bummed burwood for a very long time.

We went to GeneralPants to get Bonnie's nudies.

YAY welcome to the nudie loving crew. *steals*

Our time at foodcourt was ruined when animals from the zoo invaded.

Marie drank too much today. She has a constant urge to pee. But you didn't need to know that.

ENJOY LIFE. oh and of course marie will wish all in advance a ...

HAPPY LOVE TO HATE DAY

Marie needs to find something to give to her lesbianlovers. But she has too many. *dies*

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK.

P.S someone else blog.

[Marie.YaYaYaYa.Zuo]

JOHN-HAS-SHIIT-FOR-A-BRAIN.

FCUUKYOU. JOHN.

As you guys may have already heard from Marie and others studying 'Fiftieth Gate' at Du.
There are only two words to describe him:

John is a fcuking bitch.

Today i have come to the conclusion that I will no longer be a part of the Du crew if it means that i have to endure two freaking hours of torment and being scared for my life.

Cityrail decided to have trackwork along the Illawarra and Bondi Junction lines. And yes if you're with virgin. I'm sure you heard all about it. Virgin is the way to go. Get Virgin. So my inbox isn't spammed by gays. [except for Bec].

Well Marie rocked up 15 minutes late. She had to catch a train to central and bus it to Hurstville. MARIE was nice also. and informed a certain dog. Marie deserves much credit. I called Du reception to inform John i was late. As i didn't want to be spanked by John for arriving late to his precious very enlightening lecture about how stupid we all are.

This brilliant lecture. did not crush our self esteem. it in fact made us so delighted with ourselves that we all can't get enough of John. Oh John. We love you so much.

Marie tried to be sarcastic if you didn't have the BRAINS to notice. the truth is we hate you're fcuking GUTS john. *YAY*

Okay. so John called us:

MORONS
LOSERS
STUPID
BABIES
HUMAN CALCULATORS [as in we're only good at math]
WORSE THAN HIS YEAR 9 and 10 STUDENTS
PATHETIC
etcetc

He said our teachers had SHIT FOR BRAINS and:

WERE NOT FIT ENOUGH TO TEACH AT ALL. Marie likes Derry thankyou very much.

The silence in the classroom. John waiting us to speak up. Made Marie almost shit herself.

It was a bad 1 hour and 45 minutes. (lucky i was late) It was very Bad.

John informed us. That if we're not going to have voices of our own in his class next week. He will personally EXPEL us from his class. and Du college in general. Marie says. fcuk you.

I wish all those who are brave enough to continue his class in the hopes of achieving brilliant results for english. A VERY GOOD LUCK.

MAY YOU GUYS ALL NOT GET SPANKED TOMORROW. SPEAK. HAVE A VOICE. GROW UP. THROW YOUR CALCULATORS AWAY AND TREAT THE DICTIONARY LIKE A GOD.

All my best wishes. May i not have to attend a funeral soon.

MUCH LOVE.

[Marie.Ya.Zuo]

P.S please excuse the wannabe swearing. i need to RELEASE anger. angry. sleep from 3pm-8pm is good. and also means that i won't be sleeping tonight.

How to ...
Apologise to Sandra

kevin Ky needs to say something
I've never felt so sad before.. Even if your not around me i will always remeber the fun times that we shared i will never forget. There are so many things i wish i could say to you right now. There are so many things i want to do with you. But i can't. DAMNIT WHY. I promise never to forget your straight teeth turtle smile or your cheesy turtle laugh. Remember the time when we visted the campsie turtle brothel with francis Chloe =(? Remember the time when we stayed at evo my place till late =(? Remeber the time when you were outside my house shell trying to make me come out =(? I wish i could just hear your voice say YES. I wish i could lay eyes on your mango turtle head again, Smell your mango turtle breath, touch your mango turtle skin. What i'll miss most is being near you even if im not "hanging" with you i miss staring at you from another table in the libary classroom. I wish i could hold you again. I cant believe you were in my arms just yesterday nights on the streets of sydney lawns of the year 12 quad. I cant belive it has been less than 72 24 hours since i last saw you . Now its too late. Too late to apologize. I guess its better this way. I know your happier now. we WILL never forget you leann chan Sandra Wong =(. It feels like ive lost a friend. No More than a friend =(. Im sorry. Really. Please Forgive me. Leann Chan Sandra Wong.

The girl.

GoodBye and sorry for doing those things to you. Like poking you and calling you boring. It's not true. Leann Chan Sandra Wong 21.12.07 8.2.08 RIP. =( Lest we forget.

Sandra. We can be hot men. With hot bods. Together.

Posted by Ky, who's sorry.

TURTLEWONG.

I LOVE YOU TURTLEWONG.

THAT IS ALL.

PS. PLEASE DONT RAIN TOMORROW.

[Marie.Ya.Zuo]

How to...
Enjoy CNY with Ky's family.



I guess you could say that my family is not very voracious in following chinese culture. However, Chinese New Year is the time when we let our inner China unleash itself from the chains of our conformist semi-whitewashed lifestyle. Basically, out of all my extended family in Australia ( a fair few people actually) my immediate family (a measly four people) are the only ones celebrating this festive and financially fundamental occasion.

So anyway, my parents decided that we would actually celebrate this year. Therefore yesterday we had a very chinese meal of steak, mash and oysters.

This morning, I woke up expecting to be showered with endless pockets of money. However the morning proceeded as normal, and I was disappointed yet again. Needless to say, I turned to my "fake family" i.e. my friends, for some financial consolation. My hopes were, once again, dashed, as my group of friends are appalingly parsimonious, or in other words, tight-asses.

Tonight, we actually had CHINESE FOOD. I was slightly elated at this accomplishment. But I was getting a bit scared. It was 7pm. And I had no red pockets.

However, dinner had its fair share of interesting conversations. I know I've already told Ron this. But here's a snippet of the conversation we had during dinner.
My dad was talking about mandarins and he refers to them as "gums" - canto word. He was speaking in chinglish and was commenting on how "You guys shouldn't be eating too much "gum" because the high sugar content will make you fat."
All of us had misheard him and cracked up laughing but it was my bro who eloquently stated:
"WTF did you just say that we shouldn't be eating too much CUM?"

I like conversations with parental guidance (PG).

By the time it was 9.30pm I was thoroughly depressed. Am I meant to go through this year without the blessing of my parents in the form of yellow coloured paper inside red pockets?!

However, while I was wallowing in my filth of self pity. I got summoned downstairs by my traditionalist, though try-hard teeny bopper mother. It turns out that she wanted to stick to the chinese culture, and my brother and I had to serve her tea before we can receive our cash rewards for being such good children.

As predicted, we soon faced another dillema. We didn't have any chinese teacups. Or chinese tea leaves for that matter. And my brother and I had no fucking idea of how to make chinese tea.
But we are ever so versitile, and came up with the idea of serving my mum chardonnay. In wine glasses.

We FINALLY received our red envelops. And my mum has become a happy tipsy woman. After two glasses of wine during dinner, and another two glasses from my brother and me.

So all in all, it was a very chinese CNY for Ky.

Shit I actually thought I would have to go without red pockets for the year. Cruel parents were playing with my fragile feelings.

Next year, I hope to receive red pockets from my "fake family" Don't make Ky's New Year as emotionally turbulent as this one was.

Posted by Ky, the chinese one .

How to ...
Encapsulate a try-hard mother

Only rule:
Use Ky's mum as a role model.

Rules that Ky's mum follows:

1) Dress as young as possible.
At times, aim to look even younger than your 17-year-old daughter.

2) Invite your daughter's ever-complimenting friends over for dinner.
Then they will be able to compliment you more. (This hasn't physically happened yet. But it has been a topic of much discussion)

3) Learn teen talk.
True to life conversation that happened in my dining room today:
Bro: Points to picture of his friend "Yeah that guy's face is shit ugly".
Mum: "Are you sure you're not talking about your own face? Ahhaha L-O-L! LOL!" *turns to me* "High 5".
Me: "What ... the ... fuck ..." *gets up* *walks away*

4) Get into music that is "in"
Yes, she youtubes at works. Sings out loud in the shower AND in the car. And knows more about Kyle and Jackie O's private life more than THEY do. She also tries to find out about the new and "hip" songs before I do. It gives her a sense of satisfaction.

5) Get a hot bod
This has not yet been achieved by my aerobics-crazed mother. However, it is on her top of the priorities list. She's trying. Very hard.

6) Become a MILF
Like Ron's mum. Or Wayne's mum. Or Ke7en. Ke7en is the hottest MILF there is.

Posted by Ky, who will grow up to be a MILF, without the "Mother" bit .... so ILF.

How to ...
LoL

What was going to happen at the much acticipated last swimming carnival for our year:

- People are getting dressed up in tacky, home-made "heroes and villians" outfits. *squirm*

- People will be performing an extremely noob and laughable version of this dance:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=sLGLum5SyKQ

- People will be reciting (unenthusiastically might I add) these lyrics:
St. George Girl Off In This Pool
Watch me Crank It
Watch me Roll
Watch me Crank Dat St. George Girl
Then Super Man Whoa
Now, Watch me You...
Now, Watch me You...
Now, Watch me You...
Now, Watch me You...
Note: Basically the title of this post refers to these lyrics. Doesn't it make our disinclination to participate in the swimming carnival exponentially more comprehensible?

- People will be stuffing themselves with lollies, feeling the after effects 2 hours later.

- Ky will not be swimming. Not because she cannot. But because she might drown. However, she will attempt to jump into the shallow end of the pool. Hopefully, she will not drown.

What will probably happen at the much acticipated last swimming carnival for our year:

- The carnival will get washed out.

- We will proceed with a typical school day. Full school uniform.

- Ky will be disapponted, but relieved at the same time.

Posted by Ky, lacking in school spirit.

Happy China Day!

AMIABLE-THOUGHTS CREW WISHES ALL.

HAPPY DAY BEFORE CHINESE NEW YEAR DAY.

Hello all. Marie here to procrastinate. uh. *fail*

Exams start March 10th. I STRESS.

The weather was nice this morning. now it's dead. again.

We probably won't have our swimming carnival again. aw it's our last as well

Aha at least i don't have to learn "crank that soldier boy" dance.
Or. dress up as superheroes. and villains.

Ahh. I have to go to hurstville for a family. dinner.

DieDieDieDieDie.

Marie IS LOVING. Bec 24/7. Night and Day. xD

lawl. be peer pressured into moving to virgin !

ahh jerseyy suggestions anyonee?

marie has so far:

marie'd to -->

get marie'd.

just marie'd.

marie me.

Which. I THINK is better than:

(>^.^)> *hug me cause i'm gay* AND 0422 875 185 *call me cause im ugly* xD

[Marie.Ya.Zuo]

P.S YOU GUYS STOP PRETENDING TO STUDY AND BLOG!

Spice up your life <3

HOW TO MAKE A BLOG. BRIGHTER. THAN. RONNKNEE.COM

Apologies. for lack of pro paint skills.

BANG BANG. DIE.

Hello. Marie procrastinating .

YAY her parents ditched her for the weekend <3
It's freedom. Except i have to do work. but i CAN'T cause i'm too sleepy.

DIE SLEEP DIE.

don't die.

yes. sorry. i had to waste time. doing something. SO HERE I AM x)

Marie had english tutor for the first time at Dr Du today. It wasn't all that bad.
I thought it'd be bawling my eyes out by the end of the lesson.
But we all survived without a tear in our eye.
Hope it stays that wayy.

Ky and I saw LEANN at the Hurstville CNY thing. YAY!
And we also saw an unnamed gay for a second or two. NOT COOL!

LOVELY. marie will get back to japanese-ing.

ENJOY WHAT'S LEFT OF THE WEEKEND!

[Marie. Ya. Zuo]

How to ...
Post a flattering photo of a most cherished friend

Posted by Ky, the one who is loved by Sandra =)